Intensity while Waiting
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I know that I don't know & I'm not sure if I
know. The ideas of faith & doubt come to
mind. Skeptical with belief in who I am &
what I do. Sure, I can say it to others (& I
hope I mean it sincerely) yet my ego wants
to separate me from the equation. Can I be
confident in who I am? Is that egocentric or
selfish? To feel good about myself is not a
crime. To have gratitude for myself &
others is a good thing. I sit here with
opportunities knocking on my door. The
question is, will I get up & answer the
door? A catalyst might inspire, but I have
my headphones on & I can't hear anything
happening in the outside world. Yes, I'm
enjoying it. I'm fine, don't worry, I'm
venting. How much weight am I putting
into this life & this world? When is the
right time to expand & try new things? I
can only do what is in front of me & what
makes sense to do now. To really feel. To
feel the uncomfortable feelings that make
me want to lash out & reject everyone &
everything. To shine the light on this is
quietly sit in the storm of thoughts. The
sky, my mind, the clouds, my thoughts, &
the air surrounds. Slowly take a deep
breath. Intensity while waiting, debating &
contemplating. This horizon has always
been here, the emotional facts move toward
a world of faith. A coordinated effort is
misled, trying to find the reason this would
be acted out in a dream world. Sleep now,
the secret string of words will be said. The
animal will awaken. The dirt in which the
breath of God formed a tragic ending. The
all-encompassing understanding, yet I wish
I felt something. Do you know how far this
has gone? How could I continue with pride
& legacy? To not conjure the void,
dissipating smoke, & broken mirrors. Ok?
sure, why not? Create us a dream. The kind
it seems, where there is something to
redeem. Proceed, in a way of need, indeed,
I can get on my knees. Humble myself, yet
the intention is up for invention. The ink
now a line of trance, molecular dance, &
copied for reference. Unmistakable
observation, hesitation, & procrastination.
This is all I want, as I smile at their faces.
Traces of presence, fingerprints or
evidence, & police have confirmed the
building is secure. Do you mean that
mistake? Or the other one? I need to know,
so I can apologize & show. Just to balance,
sincerity did not believe the deep
consciousness will surface. A Muse, a
contribution of energetic ways to be
pathetic. Be happy, be glad, be sad, & be
bad. It’s all-inclusive, illusive, & intrusive.
Split between my thoughts & the keyboard.
I can hold onto the path. This requires no
math, & I can always zone out into the
other form of thinking. Requiring a
rewiring, confirms the similarity between
all. Yea, an AC adapter, unplugged, & on a
rug. I lied. On a carpet, actually & while
I'm mentioning it factually, I can say this is
no way, represents the opinions of the one
who wrote it. It’s not about Dan, it’s not
about me, it’s about a car & a tree. Serving
purpose, receiving verses. I concur, within
this blur, I want to forget, I want to live, I
want to know, yet, so it goes, the spy is
revealed after being concealed for too long.
It’s all becoming clear. The currents have
their say. Rant & Rave. Electronic music
understood. Frequency at 128 bpm. So,
drop the bass, continue that look on your
face, avoid the temporary disgrace, &
commit yourself to running the life-long
race. On your mark, get set, GO!!! Feeling
small, decreasing it all, the heavens fall, & I
still won't call. Out to them from here,
now? Okay. No more fear, pain, steering
this car in the pouring rain. Safely home,
only known, within our hearts, beginnings
& starts. The End. Our friend. Always true,
for you, for him & her, the continued blur
slipping away. Focusing somewhere,
photos & glares. The good kind, the good
people, & the church steeple. The temple,
the mosque, the faith of grace & the cost.
Irrelevant within this covenant. No more
due, it’s all true, the sun is shining,
somewhere within this; I saved myself.
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