“I thank my God every time I remember you.” – Philippians 1:3

During the average lifespan, how many people do you think have helped us, brought us joy, & shown us love? A lot! But in the current season of my life, I usually spend a lot of time alone. With my diagnosis, I find it very difficult to socialize the way I used to earlier in life. Yes, maybe there are trust issues & selfish behaviors involved. I feel one of the blessings in this world, if not the most tangible one besides the relationship with Jesus, is the relationships we have with other people. Maybe just writing this will help me to have the faith to reach out & expand healthy relationships in life.

This is why Jesus realized the importance of loving not only our Father in heaven with all our heart, mind, & soul, but to secondly love each other as people here on earth. I haven’t perfected either of these & will most likely always struggle with this. That doesn’t mean that I find it to not be True. I’ll admit that I currently feel God is the most important thing to me, but if I don’t look around at others, it can be rather isolating. Does this mean I should consider going back to Church? I could list all the reasons why I don’t want to trust a possible self-righteous Christian; but what if that is because I am one & need help to not be?

If anything, the contradiction in my writing all this, shows me how sinful & imperfect I truly am. This brings me back to my struggle with feeling the need to have a relationship with Christ Jesus. I’m going to keep on trying to do the right thing. I want to honor not only the Lord, but all the loved ones in my life. Whether family, friends, or neighbors who I can truly say I do love, hopefully that is a start in the right direction.